i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
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