The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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