Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
