I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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