i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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