Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
