In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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