he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
