Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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