I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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