After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
