so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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