Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
