That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
