I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i will never coherently bang her
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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