I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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