he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
