I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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