is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
