If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
