What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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