Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
