I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
