I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
