drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
