Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
