So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
