Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
