Only a mothe r could love this liver
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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