I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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