next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
