have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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