So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The Olympian is in my bed
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
