I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
