I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Damn victory sex feels great
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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