I don't remember. Are we still dating?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
