I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
