His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
please come you make the beer taste better
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
