PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
