She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
