she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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