I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
