i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
