I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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