she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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