I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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