I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
