Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
