Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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