I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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